We see that which inspires.




how you work out < how i work out 

I Will Love This Forever.

Literally me.

(via getthatfit)


“My largest fear is losing hope in everything getting better.”

Me right now


My largest fear is losing hope in everything getting better.”

Me right now

Insecurity of the unknowing

I can’t fathom how it is that I drive myself to get better yet can’t grow personally to be a better person. I’ve lived most of my life surrounded by the inherit desire to succeed and in my opinions I’ve had a plethora of examples which have all challenged me and elevated me to the next level academically and professionally. My challenge has been how to translate that to colloquial interactions. I’ve been with my partner for over four years -which in Miami can be quite the challenge - and for the first time ever I’ve gotten to the lowest level of defeat I’ve ever come across. Not the defeat that inspires you to get better but rather the defeat that takes a piece of you and leaves you in pain. I’ve never been so great at communicating internally with those close to me and this much I know I guess I finally just got hit with reality which stung deep and made me think how and why I am the way I am. I’ve come to gather that a lot of it has to do about how my family has always been divided and how as a whole I’ve had no true substance of loyalty no substance of commitment which would leave ones mind assured that they will always be there through thick and thin. I had no such satisfaction. I don’t express it for the sake of thinking I’m worse off than anyone else but rather it is to acknowledge how and why it is that this one defeat has taken so much from me. My relationship has come to a point of turmoil because I’m an asshole and condescending to those I love. I don’t see it I don’t think I let myself see it because I naturally think that everyone I love will eventually leave willingly. Part of the issue is that I’ve never known what it’s like to know that someone will always be there. All I’ve loved has left and all that has left has stemmed from my defense as a person. This challenge is one I feel I can no longer face or at least one I see myself failing . I don’t want to fail I just don’t know how I can win